Algo de música navideña con Frank Zappa...
Hace 9 horas
martes, 8 de septiembre de 2009
Walking The dog and The Pastor's Ass
Me llegan de vez en cuando chistes en Inglés y algunos están graciosos Así que a partir de hoy los voy a compartir, asi practicamos un poco.
Walking The dog
A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly,the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way.
The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay,and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind.
The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her
seeing-eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her,and calling her by name, said, 'Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour.
Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'The blind lady said, 'No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.'
Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing-eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.
People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!True story...
The Pastor's Ass
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in therace again and it won again.
The local paper read:PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHESPASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to getrid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headlinethe next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey soshe sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to b uy backthe donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinioncan bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happierand live longer!
Walking The dog
A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly,the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way.
The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay,and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind.
The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her
seeing-eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her,and calling her by name, said, 'Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour.
Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'The blind lady said, 'No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.'
Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing-eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.
People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!True story...
The Pastor's Ass
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in therace again and it won again.
The local paper read:PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHESPASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to getrid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headlinethe next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey soshe sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to b uy backthe donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinioncan bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happierand live longer!
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